It's been a while...but I'm thankful

I've failed at the one post a day challenge. I'm okay with that. It's been a bit refreshing (though I will admit that I've felt a little guilty for not posting anything for a whole week).

I'm thankful for so much. Here are just a few that are on my mind at the moment.

Kim... I was over at the lake house the other night and was sitting there talking to Kim as she was peeling paint off the windows...and I just felt oddly overjoyed that we are sisters. We share some of the same family now and our daughters have some of the same genes. How crazy and random is it that my best friend and I are now sisters??!?!?! It's something we always pretended years ago like the little school girls we were. I've known Kim practically all my life and I just love her so much and am so proud of the wonderful mothering she's done with those cute little girls!! She is a great example for me and I am sooooo thankful to have her in my life in this new sisterly role. 

My DAUGHTER. My goodness, she's always making me laugh and smile and is so good at being willing to watch me make a fool of myself dancing like a lunatic in the kitchen. :) Her 5th tooth broke through and we're currently calling her snaggle-tooth. Her 3rd tooth - the top right (k9 me thinks) is really out there and she looks so silly when she smiles big. :) We have yet to get any pictures of her snaggletooth....maybe tonight.

My hubs. No matter what, this guy makes me smile and laugh and there's never a time I'm bored when I'm around him.

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I have had a bit of a rough patch over the last 2 weeks. Work has been very difficult with wild rumors (or I should say 'rumor') spreading about and my sanity has been tested to the extreme. The politics involved with the corporate life are none that I wish anyone to have to face. Unfortunately that's the world both Pete and I are in...and as such, we get to deal with it. Oh the drama! To top it all off, right before this drama came about I was pulled so hard on the path of turning in notice and staying home with my baby. Then this 'stuff' happened and we determined that I needed to stick through it so I didn't come out looking like the bad guy (so to speak). Now I'm through the heat of the drama and finances and my daughters well being have taken up my every thought. Can we afford for me to stay home? Is my daughter being damaged by me being gone 4 days/week? Is the stress worth the paycheck? Do we really need to pay off that debt? Should we sell the rental house? What if Pete loses his job?

So many questions. Not many answers.

In the grand scheme of things our problems seem so little - for that I am blessed. But at times it's hard to look at the other side and see just how teeny these issues really are compared to the trials others are facing. It's so easy to get self absorbed in the fine details of our lives...and totally misrepresent 'how' we are to others. Of course, at other times it's easy to gloss over the pain we're feeling in our hearts and to just put on an 'everything is okay' face in order to hide the truth because in actuality, it's not *that* bad.

This all just makes me so very thankful for the friends and family I have. I have a hard time being completely open with my feelings (sometimes they are a bit much - or are they?) and that is a struggle I face. How much to tell, how 'open' to be. "If I tell them *this* will they think I'm crazy?!" I seek good friendships with honest feedback. If I'm out of line, I want to know...I don't want people to only see half of me - I'd never make sense as a person that way. They might see that 'one' part and walk away scratching their heads and wondering why I am the way I am. I crave that deeper relationship. I crave that desire to really know someone and for them to know me.

But in the end, I'm thankful for the friends I have who I can just lay it on the table to. Oddly enough, the two most significant people in my life who I tend to do that with are my sister in laws. So in the end, I want to say...I'm thankful for Kari and Kim. The two K's who probably know the most about me...and be it family or not, they both still love me for who I am. and I just love that about them.